Late Night Snacks
by IHateTheLog
Summary: But instead of finding her precious chocolate, she found...something else...Warning! Strong language in some chapters. Sequel to November 27th.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ok so I'm starting another story. It's the second part of November 27th. It's going to be a multi-chapter one, but I have no idea how long it's going to be. Okay, so I have some characters that I might have gotten wrong so if there is someone that's OOC, please tell me and I will try to correct it as best I can. I don't own anything...except my shoes. I think.

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Chapter 1

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Twas the Dead of the night in the Akatsuki base. One could say very close to midnight. Everyone was in their respective rooms, sleeping, preparing for upcoming missions, or spying on their partner to make sure that they re the one talking in their sleep and aren't just hearing voices in their head. Everything was quiet and dark until-

Creak!

Heavy feet were being dragged sluggishly across the hallways heading to the kitchen.

"Mrrnrr... damn cravings...stupid period...dunno why men don't have to deal with this too...hmf..."

Konan's mumbling to herself continued as she ventured grumpily to the kitchen after trying, and failing, to fall asleep. Those late night cravings were ruining her beauty sleep!

Once she reached the kitchen, she smacked around the wall with one hand to find the light switch still grumbling to herself angrily. Once she found the switch she quickly flicked it on and had to rub her eyes do to the sudden change in lighting. As soon as she could see, she spotted her target and stomped her way across the kitchen floor, all the while staring intensely at it.

"Fridge. Chocolate. Must. Have."

She stopped just short of ramming herself against the machine and ripped the door open, eyes already searching for the large bar of chocolate she remembered seeing lying on the top shelf a few days ago. But instead of finding her oh so precious chocolate, she found...something else...

"What the f- AHHH-!!"

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A/N: Ok, so that was chapter one. Hope you liked it. If you didn't then go ahead and say so and if you did, then tell me. ^.^

IhateTheLog


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I am really, really sorry for the long wait on the new chapter. And for those who will read this, I'm sorry to disappoint you and say that because I got lazy and had a bit of a block on this chapter this ones a filler sorta thing. Please don't hate me....Well, hope you like it.

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He was counting his money merrily smiling with much glee(on the inside of course), blocking out the snores coming from the over religious man next door. He had been doing this for a couple of hours now, the digital clock on his bedside table blinking the current time. It read 12:00 am in bright green. The gentle noise of paper against paper and the constant beat that to which he was counting his money kept Kakuzu's mind at ease.

_Fifty-thousand...fifty-thousand one hundred...fifty-thousand two hundred...fifty-thousand three hundred... fifty-thousa-_

"Ahhhh-!!"

The sudden scream broke Kakuzu's concentration and put him on high alert faster than you could think the words high alert. He swiftly made his way into the hallway, and found that the other Akatsuki members were emerging from their rooms as well. All of the others were alarmed as well. Well...at least most of them.

"What the hell was that!? I mean seriously. What kind of bitch screams in the middle of the fucking night!? This is freakin' messed up! I mean seriously, first I get a new mission with the over grown flower, then my comb goes missing and now this!"

Obviously some the the more...outspoken members were not happy at all with being woken up so suddenly in the middle of the night.

"Hidan. Just shut up! No one cares about your comb-",

"Hey!"

"-anyway... who screamed?" Sasori spoke, ignoring Hidan's slight interruption. He looked around at the other members who were also looking at the other members. Kakuzu looked as if he could care less, Itachi looked like...well, Itachi, Deidara was preoccupied combing his hair with what suspiciously looked like Hidan's comb, Zetsu closed the over grown fly trap around his head, and Leader-sama was looking at Hidan strangely who was twitching uncontrollably and glaring at Deidara with more hate than humanly possible.

"Deidara....What. The. _Fuck. _Are. You. _Doing_?!"

Everyone's attention had gone to Hidan and Deidara after Hidan ground out those words with more venom than anyone has ever heard or thought was humanly(and inhumanly)possible. Deidara froze instantly and felt as if he were standing in a freezer instead of the warm hallway he was actually standing in. Deidara stopped combing his hair and while looking at Hidan, slowly lowered the comb and hid it behind his back. Then with deliberate slowness and a guilty smile on his face that he tried and failed to hide he said,

"What are you talking about, yeah?"

"What the fuck _I'm_ talking about is why you have _my_ comb behind your soon-to-be-fucking-sacrificed ass!"

As Hidan was saying this he was stomping his way across the hallway towards Deidara with his sacrificial pike in one hand raised above his head and a very angry red face. Deidara started running for his life down the hallway and Hidan right behind him screaming profanities that the other Akatsuki members didn't have a clue as to what they ment and quite frankly, didn't want to know.

The remaining people just stood there looking like they would rather be anywhere else than there, until Leader finally stepped in.

"Go after them. Just don't ki-...try not to ruin the new furniture."

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A/N: Okay. So its short and i sorta have an idea what I'm gonna do for the next chapter. I promise, I'm going to try and work on the story and get it updated faster than this chapter/filler. Again sorry bout the hold up. I just got really lazy. Well, hope you liked it. If you hated it then tell me, I'll try and fix it. I do take constructive criticism. Er...yeah. Okay. Later.

IHateTheLog


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N:**__ Hello! Here is the next chapter. Sorry for the long wait. Hope you like it. Don't kill me in my sleep if you don't like it._

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Late Night Snacks Chapter 3

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'_I'm going to _kill_ Hidan….No. Maybe Deidara. After all he's the reason why Hidan got so angry ,so I'll kill him. Wait, no, I'll kill the person who screamed because they're the one who woke up everyone and began this whole situation. If they hadn't woken everyone up I would still be in my room back with my sweet, sweet money instead of having to hunt down those two retards! You know, I should just let Hidan kill Deidara. That would make things a lot easier. Yes! Then that way while everyone else is distracted I can kill the _screamer_ unnoticed and then kill Hidan once we go back to our rooms. Yes, I like that plan…' _

As Kakuzu was walking down the many halls engrossed in his murderous thoughts, he didn't notice his surroundings unlike the other two Akatsuki members beside him. It was quite obvious that Hidan and Deidara had passed through there, what with the charred spots and stab holes along the walls and floor. Not to mention a large chunk of long blonde hair on the floor that obviously belonged to Deidara (much to Sasori's amusement).

The trail of destruction lead the three tired and frustrated missing-nin towards the kitchen.

Finally removing himself from his violent thoughts, Kakuzu realized where their path would lead them. And he was not at _all _looking forward to what he would be finding once he got there.

'_I swear, if they destroyed _anything_ I will make them pay for it in more ways than one. Leader is probably already going to make me pay for the damaged hallways and I am _not_ going to let those two buffoons get away with this no matter-….what…'_

"What the hell?"

The three had finally reached the kitchen expecting to find 1.) a dead Deidara 2.) a Deidara being sacrificed and/or 3.) the kitchen resembling some thing like No Man's Land. But when they walked in they found something that they were not expecting at all.

The kitchen was completely clean and empty. Until they finally noticed him. Hidan was in the corner of the kitchen closest to the door in the fetal position clutching his sacrificial pike to his chest while rocking himself back and forth. He was staring at the floor, face frozen in an expression of pure horror. He made no sign of acknowledging the three new presences that were standing about five feet away.

After a few minutes of just staring at Hidan, Sasori decided to break the silence and asked in a slightly cautious voice,

"Hidan….what happened?"

The question didn't seem to phase the mortified shinobi at all. Sasori repeated the question with more force in his voice and got the same results. Sasori tried a few more times, each time his voice growing more irritated. Then Kakuzu (getting more angry than he already was at Hidan) decided to join in the effort to wake Hidan out of his stupor. With an extremely annoyed voice Kakuzu said,

"Hidan, stop wasting our time and tell us what the hell happened."

Nothing happened. No matter how threatening they sounded or how much they actually threatened Hidan, it was all in vain. Sasori and Kakuzu were reaching the ends of their ropes and were just seconds from attacking the still oblivious Hidan when Itachi _finally_ said something.

"Jashin doesn't exist."

After what felt like hours of threatening, yelling (on the inside, of course), glaring, sneering, and more threatening from our two annoyed shinobi, it seemed that one small comment from the third, silent, shinobi (obviously) made no difference in their efforts…or so they thought.

Instead of Itachi's input having no effect, it actually was the detonator of a bomb. A very large, angry, religious bomb… with light blonde hair if you really want to get into detail. As soon as Itachi said his comment, Hidan froze and for a full minute did nothing. Kakuzu even thought he stopped breathing.

Then, Kakuzu began to grow concerned for Itachi's safety (as well as his own. He didn't particularly care if Sasori kicked the bucket. He quite actually would prefer to kick Sasori's bucket for him. The puppet owed him money) as the temperature in the room began to drop. In the next second that followed, Kakuzu was glad that he had great reflexes because if he didn't then Itachi would probably be missing a few limbs.

Hidan had lunged at Itachi with the pike raised above his head while sporting a murderous look in his eye. Kakuzu caught Hidan midair and pulled him back with his string before he could reach a calm looking Itachi. Hidan struggled for a while and turned to a different method of attacking the Uchiha. Kakuzu was willing to bet all his money that Hidan was sincerely hoping that his yelling would actually disengage the Uchiha into a pile of ash.

" YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER! FUCKING SAYING THAT JASHIN-SAMA ISN'T REAL! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST DID YOU SCREWED UP ALBINO! RWAAAAAA!! YOU BETTER START FUCKING BEG JASHIN-SAMA FOR HIS FORGIVENESS YOU BITCH-ASS PIECE OF SHIT! You DON'T go 'round yelling Jashin-sama isn't real! That's like… going up to a bunch of little kids and saying Santa and the Tooth Fairy don't exist! It's fucked up! Although I do agree that Santa isn't real. I mean, there is NO fucking way in hell that the great Jashin-sama would ever let a fat-ass old man that wears a red suit everyday and lives with a bunch of enslaved midgets AND also breaks into everyone's house and eats all their fucking delicious cookies and drinks all their milk and in return leaves behind some fucking cheap-ass toys that you don't even want, exist! -"

As Hidan stopped to take a breath from his long…speech, Kakuzu did the smart thing and shoved a rag in his open mouth. As soon as Hidan realized that he couldn't talk, he began to protest with muffled yells that the other three shinobi couldn't understand. Kakuzu sighed, shaking his head.

'_Why is my partner _so stupid_? First we can't get him to talk when we want him to and now that we obviously want him to shut up he just keeps on going! Ugh, dear sweet money help me.'_

After Hidan seemed to have calmed down, Sasori ripped the rag from Hidan's mouth and so _very_ sweetly "asked",

"Where is Deidara."

Hidan's face drained of all color and his only answer was a shaking finger pointing to the fridge across the room.

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**A/N:** Ok. Hope you liked it. And once again sorry for the long update. And if anyone was insulted by anything in the story I didn't mean to offend you if you were. You can complain about how horrible an author I am, or how wonderful I am. ;D Anyway, please review, because apparently it encourages me to update more often. So, yeah. Later,

IHateTheLog


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: So... Here is the next chapter after about a year of not updating. Please don't kill me! (cowers in corner) I am going to be honest and say that I procrastinated. I was going to upload this chapter and chapter 5, but I got too lazy and stopped altogether... So, I pulled my lazy butt together, and typed this chapter. I am about halfway done with chapter 5, so it shouldn't take as long.

Anyways, I know you don't like authors notes, so I'll just get on with it and say: I hope you enjoy this chapter. Now go read!

**Chapter 4**

"Hidan... Are you screwing with us? Because if you are, _I will kill you_."

That was the response that Hidan had prompt from Kakuzu right after he explained what had happened to Deidara. The other two Akatsuki members present were sporting looks of disbelief and slight amusement. They obviously didn't believe him one bit. Hidan, feeling affronted, looked at the two men and single puppet with a desperate look on his face as he tried to get them to believe him.

"I am not fucking screwing around! It really happened! There is something in that damn fridge, and I'm sure as shit that it _ate_ him. I-I-I-didn't know what to do after it...it..."

Hidan's voice got smaller and smaller as he went on until it was nothing more than a pitiful mumble. And of course, they still didn't believe him.

'Dear sweet money how _ridiculous _can one person be? I mean, something in the fridge attacked someone? Oh, excuse me, _ate_ someone. An S-class missing nin none the less. Despite the fact that Deidara is a complete buffoon, I am willing to put a little faith in his skills (for once). Hidan could have at least come up with a better cover story. I _know_ he can come up with some crazy bullshit, but this is just ridiculous! Hmmm... perhaps Deidara was able to land a hard hit to his head and destroyed whatever was left of his already nonexistent brain cells...'

The awkward silence was stretched over a few seconds of staring at Hidan and thinking along the same lines of: Hidan has finally lost his marbles. When the silence was starting to prove a fruitless rout, Sasori finally decided to break it.

"Hidan-"

"FINE!" Hidan exploded, cutting off Sasori, "If you don't fucking believe me then go and check for your own Jashin-sama damned self! Who gives a flying fuck if you get eaten as well!"

Hidan had given up on trying to convince his fellow evildoers of what he was witness to. And although his outburst was obviously out of anger and frustration, thereby not being meant to be taken literally, Kakuzu responded.

"Fine."

He made his was across the kitchen towards the fridge with every intention of opening the door, finding nothing, and then proceed to beat Hidan with the aforementioned piece of machinery. All the color drained from Hidan's face. He knew as he watched Kakuzu purposefully stride towards the fridge that he had every intention of opening the door to find nothing, and then proceed to beat him with the aforementioned piece of machinery. Or something like that. With the strings still restraining him, Hidan tried every way possible to stop Kakuzu from walking strait into the his doom.

"No! KAKUZU! Don't do it! DON'T! I swear, I will do anything! Just don't open that fucking door and let that Jashin-sama damned thing out! We'll all get eaten by that shit! No! St-stop! I-I-I'll give up my profanities! I swear! I swear upon the great Jashin-sama that I will not utter anymore obscenities from this moment forth! Just _please_! STOP! NO! KAKU-!"

All of Hidan's pleading and bargaining fell on deaf ears as Kakuzu resolutely made his way across the kitchen without breaking stride. Hidan was cut off when Kakuzu wrenched the door open. Everything fell silent for the few tense seconds that followed, until-

"What. The. Fu-"

Kakuzu was suddenly grabbed by a large... _thing. _Sasori and Itachi didn't have enough time to take a good look at what it was because apparently, Hidan had no intentions whatsoever of quote, "getting eaten by that shit."

The moment that the… unknown life form began to emerge from the fridge, Hidan had used his own momentum to force himself up on his feet, and using his teeth, he grabbed Itachi and Sasori by the backs of their cloaks. Faster than you could say speed of light, Hidan and his two stupefied evil cohorts were out of the kitchen and already halfway down the hallway leaving Kakuzu to his untimely doom.

A/N: I should try and stay consistent with my line breaky-thingies. Oh well. I hoped you liked it, and I do take constructive criticism : ) Tell me if there are any mistakes, because I'm typing and editing this at 4:21 in the morning. Woot -_-

Sincerely,

IHateTheLog


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note_: What is this? Did I actually update this story? What is this world coming to! 'Tis blasphemy I tell you! Blasphemy!

So, yeah. I finally decided to update this story... after about a year. Whoops. Don't kill me pleases! I know, I kinda promised myself that I wouldn't take so long to update, but I'll be honest about it and just say that I got lazy, then I forgot about it. It wasn't until I got a review alert that I remembered about it. So really, I dedicate this chapter to jadeismycolor because if they didn't review, this story might have been lost forever in the dark abyss that is my computer. Any-who, without further ado, I present the next chapter of _Late Night Snacks._

..oOo.

Chapter 5

..oOo.

"I-_pant_-told-_pant_-you!"

Hidan was sprawled on the floor, catching his breath after his hurried escape from the kitchen. The other two Akatsuki members were standing near by, thinking about what they had just witnessed.

"Alright, so maybe you were right. There is an unknown life form in our fridge. And perhaps you were also right about how...it ate...Deidara..."

Sasori had begun talking in monotone, successfully hiding how freaked out he may have been. But by the time he discovered the revelation as to what had happened to Deidara, his tone became dreamy. He donned an expression of what could best be described as a mix of awe and immeasurable happiness as he stared off into the middle distance. Hidan was looking at Sasori as if he had suddenly announced that his real name was Malibu Barbie and was wearing a frilly pink thong and was proud of it. After they spent a few more minutes of basking in pure joy and thoughts of how crazy some people can be, Itachi was the one to disturb the moment.

"So. Do you think he is still alive?"

It was intended more to just break the silence than to show actual concern on Kakuzu's behalf. However, Sasori was still in his little dream world and only half listening, and Hidan was busy picking himself up off the floor. Just as Itachi was about to restate his question, Hidan cut him off.

"No! There is no fat hippo's way that that fluffy hamster survived! That _thing_ ate him! And by all the kitty cats in the world it's his own fault! I _told_ him not to open the bright pink flamingo of a fridge, but _no!_ He just _had_ to be a giant hairy gorilla and- what?"

Hidan stopped mid-rant in response to what the others were doing. The two usually stoic men were looking at him with slightly (very) horrified looks on their faces as they backed a few paces away from him. This made Hidan start to feel awkward after a few moments of intense staring.

"What the cuddly bunnies are you looking a-oof!"

Hidan was forcefully pinned against the wall by Itachi with a kunai pressed against his throat. Sasori had summoned a puppet which had, what seemed to be, all of its weapons drenched in poison pointed towards the trapped man.

In a quiet controlled voice that promised much pain and horror, Sasori spoke.

"Who. The. Hell. _Are_. You."

It was less of a question and more of a demand really. Hidan looked at both of the men (well, man and puppet) as if they had spontaneously started growing flowers out of their ears. He had no idea what they were getting at. One minute he was expressing his displeasure as to how Kakuzu ignored him (it was nothing new, but still. It hurt his feelings) then the next thing he knows, he has sharp pointy objects practically shoved in his face along with the rude demand to state _who he is_! The nerve!

"What the puffy poodles are _you_ talking about! _You_ jolly walruses just shove _me_ against this spotty giraffe of a wall, and start spouting all this snuggly puppy and practically _gouge my eyes out _like the pea-brained canaries you are! You ungrateful rhinos! I just _saved_ your baboon buttocks from being _eaten_ by some hideous fuzzy chipmunk! You INFADELS! AND YOU KNOW WHAT! I-!"

"I thought I said not to ruin the new furniture."

Hidan tirade was cut-off when Leader finally decided to chime in. It was quite a sight really. To see a man and two puppets holding another man in mid-air who's face was turning purple from yelling with all his might. Leader really didn't understand why they were in that position, nor did he particularly care.

..oOo.

Leader had been wondering what was taking the group so long to sort out Diedara and Hidan when he started to hear some distant ruckus. That was when he finally decided to see what all the hullabaloo was about. On his trek to find 'The Fools', he was not happy with the path of destruction that paved his way. When he saw the holes in the walls, and one broken chair (it just happened to be the new snazzy one that he himself picked out) Leader became very displeased. He would need Kakuzu to pay for all the damages. It was with this in mind when he finally found 'The Fools'.

"Leader! Get these two eleph-!"

"Did you break my new Martha Stewart chair?"

Hidan was interrupted once again. However, instead of protesting this rude interjection as he usually would, Hidan (wisely) chose to keep his righteous opinions to himself. Itachi and Sasori, sensing imminent doom if they stood next to Hidan any longer, quickly let the man go and started to back away trying to not attract attention to themselves. With the lack of response from Hidan, Leader decided to 'pleasantly' ask once again.

"Did _you _break _my_ _new _Martha Stewart chair?"

Needless to say, if tones of voice could kill, Hidan would be nothing more than a pile of ash on the floor. It was with these thoughts in mind that he finally responded.

"Is- uh, was it that new chair with the nifty cup-holders?"

Before Leader could make his icy reply in the affirmative, there was a sudden and resounding _CRASH!_ that brought all four men's attention to the direction of it's source. Much to Hidan's utter dismay, it came from the kitchen door behind them.

..oOo.

_Author's Note_: So, how was it? I hoped you liked it! Please tell me if there is anything that needs to be changed or fixed and all that what-not.

And I am saying this now as an official statement: I, IHateTheLog, swear under oath that I shall post the next chapter of this story before the year 2012. If I fail in this mission, then I give those who read this story the full right to run me out of town with pitchforks and torches, the whole shebang.

Till next time,

IHateTheLog


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